Ask McWoo: Anonymous Advice

Dear McWoo,

I am a senior and after four years I have had some less than great relationships. Some have ended amicably, some badly, and some I’m just embarrassed about. On a campus this small, I can’t avoid my exes! They seem to be everywhere: Lowry, C-store, Old Main, Knowlton, you name it. They seem to pop out of every nook and cranny, disrupting my day with startling interactions. How do I deal with these constant jump-scares?

Many Thanks,

On-Edge at Low

Dear On-Edge at Low,

Look, I get it…and it sucks. Sometimes it truly feels like this is the smallest campus ever — especially when you are facing constant run-ins with people who you would never like to see again. So, how do you deal with these jump-scares on this campus of, what feels like, five people? My number one tip is to not be scared. The more you anticipate seeing someone, the more you will see them. It’s science. Tip number two: be delusional. This may not seem like my typical advice, telling you amazing readers to take a step back and reflect on your unfortunate situations, but in a situation like this, it is crucial. The next time you see your latest hookup in the Lowry pizza line, take it as a sign from the universe that it is time to move on. The third option in this situation is to completely ignore the person you run into, which hopefully you are already doing. I do not typically recommend ignoring people, as I love a bit of communication, but if you see an ex-something on campus, I am begging you to act like they are non-existent. Act as though they were never there, and you have never been in any sticky situationship with them. Think: “What’s their name again?” They cannot disrupt your day if you act like they never existed. This advice reveals my immense amount of pettiness, but dear reader, you cannot avoid seeing these people on campus, so the only answer is to be slightly delusional and keep acting like the bad bitch you are. 

Spend your weekend forming new relationships,


Dear McWoo,

Lately I’ve had some trouble with my roommate and I’m not sure how to handle it. My roommate has taken beer, drinks and multiple snacks from me. I always find him playing on my Xbox, and his girlfriend leaves a scent that bothers me. What should I do, McWoo? My room is a really important place to me and I can’t enjoy it as much when my roommate keeps doing these things. How can you help me?

Fighting for my life,

Worried Wally

Dear Worried Wally,

I am begging you not to read my previous advice, because you, reader, need to communicate. Your room should be your safe space, a place on campus where you can unwind, unbutton your pants and enjoy a bowl of ramen at any given moment. So, let your roommate know that your space is important to you and he needs to respect it. While you may be able to open your heart and share a few bottles of water here and there, make it a point to tell your roommate to ask before using your things. However, definitely do not tell him that his girlfriend smells bad — that might not go over well. You could, instead, say that you are really sensitive to different smells and would appreciate it if she made sure not to put on any sprays before coming over. As I mentioned, your room should be a space that you feel comfortable in, but that does not mean you need to lock yourself in there. So, if you do need space from your roommate, go outside, read a book or grab a snack because you do not want to let your feelings outwardly explode onto him. Communicate but do it kindly and thoughtfully. Do not let your emotions build up and up before doing so — that will not be good for either of you. It may seem simple, but sometimes we just need to be reminded that we have words and can use them for good. Share your struggles with your roommate — he will not know he is doing anything wrong until you do. If it does get worse, get on that single waitlist ASAP…it’s filling up. 

Talk it out, 


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