Anna Lemler ’10, beautifully performed Edward Elgar’s Cello Concerto in E Minor. The piece is considered to be the premiere cello solo and for good reason. Lemler’s passion for the instrument and the beautiful sounds of the orchestra brought the concerto to life.

I have rarely thought of the cello as such an integral instrument in the orchestra, with the exception of the world’s great cellists like Yo-Yo Ma.

Prokofiev’s “Lieutenant Kije Suite” written in 1934 for the film of the same title chronicles the life of an imaginary decorated soldier constructed for the purposes of pleasing Russia’s Czar.

The piece utilizes all the facets, of the orchestra beginning with a beautiful opening part for the trumpet that comes full circle at the end of the last movement with the death of Lt. Kije.

The pieces’ emotional highs and lows were well articulated by the orchestra’s great performance. The musicians’ passion for the music translated well into the sound and professionalism that was articulated by their performance.

Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. 2 was completed and first performed in 1901. To play the piece, the Orchestra brought in the accomplished pianist and composer Dr. Mayerovitch. Mayerovitch has won an extensive number of competitions and is currently a member of the Elysian Trio, in-residence at Baldwin Wallace University. It is wonderful that we are able to bring such talent to our campus.

He demonstrated graceful attention to the piece and possessed a great ability to perform with precision from memory. His style took the audience on an emotional roller coaster, as we felt the emotions spring to life.

The musicians were well-trained and prepared throughout this performance as they accompanied him.

It truly was a wonderful and worthwhile concert. Before attending this concert, I had never been to an orchestra performance at the College of Wooster and I am sad to learn about this gem so late in the game as a senior.

I encourage everyone to take advantage of the opportunity to experience beautiful music that we have on campus from the Wooster Symphony Orchestra to Cow Belles.

Not only does the orchestra put on a great performance, but also their venue is extremely beautiful and well built for a college of this size. I am hard to impress, but at this concert, the musicians and conductors did a fantastic job of impressing me.

The play centers around the relationship between Mary Queen of Scots (Amanda Keith ’11) and her first cousin, Elizabeth I of England (Bridget Hillyer ’12). La Corbie (Nina Takács ’11) is the storyteller, taking on the form of a crow who quietly and beautifully informs the audience of the tension and actions taking place.

As lords and nobles vie for power and attention from Mary, she finds herself constantly denounced by the protestant reformist John Knox (Owen Reynolds ’11), who wants the Catholic queen to give up her power and return it to the people.

Throughout the play, all the actors assume multiple identities of colorful characters, with Hillyer and Keith switching back and forth as the servants of the queens during more profound moments. Hillyer portrayed a very fierce and decisive Elizabeth, while Keith successfully captured a delicate but fine upstanding Mary.

Takács delivers a powerful performance as La Corbie; she was the driving force of the story. Likewise, Reynolds was commanding and very frightening as John Knox, you could also guess what he was up to next.

While most critics may label this as a historical drama, it is much more than that. According to director Penny Cole, “It is a major focus on the struggle for power and the choices they need to make as women or queens.”

Cole is a Visiting Assistant Professor of Theatre and Dance from the University of Colorado-Boulder. She is teaching Celtic Theatre this spring semester which explores the history of theatre in Scotland, Ireland and Wales.

Cole also mentioned that Mary is traditionally viewed as an innocent martyr who stood by as others plotted schemes around her. She intends to shed light on a new side of the doomed queen.

The dialogue is a mix of refined English accents, and Scots, a traditional language of Scotland. I carefully listened to the well spoken Scottish and English accents, which helped me understand the action and tension occurring on the stage. Audience members will find a set of basic Scot vocabulary in their programs.

Actors’ bios are replaced by a historical review of the characters, giving necessary background information. I would recommend reviewing the execution of Mary Queen of Scots, as it plays an important part in the final scene of the show.

Instead of presenting the performance by using all of the seats in Freedlander, the department of Theatre and Dance decided to push the audience on the stage as a theatre in the round. The flags of England and Scotland appeared to have been placed to appear as if you stepped into the world of a carnival or festival.

On the floor is a map of the two countries, with moveable platforms that consistently shaped the troubled world of the two queens.

Nathan Comstock ’10 designed the set for his senior independent study, which questions how scenic design can aid an audience in understanding the the cultural and history of highly nationalistic play.

Comstock notes that “the platforms, painted like pieces of flags, are constantly moving and shifting. A flag is a construct, like a nation. Nothing about it is set in stone.”

As the actors used every extent of the stage, leaving no corner untouched, I was impressed with their familiarity of the space.

It felt as if they were truely living and breathing in their own world and I was invited to participated in it. I wanted to literally step into their world and live it. I highly recommend you try and do the same too.

To celebrate Scottish heritage and life, a Ceilidh (pronounced “kay-lee”), or party festival will be happening in Shoolroy theatre after tonight’s performance. Audience members who purchase a ticket for the show are invited to attend the Ceilidh.

This movie had twists and turns that left you constantly guessing and surprised at the outcome, with non-stop laughs. The film was about several people living their lives in Los Angeles and how their paths intertwined on Valentine’s Day.

As they are taking the next step, breaking up, or became just plain single and alone you see the pressure Valentine’s Day puts on people of all age groups and what love can do to you. If you don’t like the typical corny, “chick flick” movie this may not be for you, but is full of excitement and romance. On its opening weekend, “Valentine’s Day” grossed $56 million dollars.

With a two hour run time, I didn’t have high expectations for this movie, but it was better than I anticipated! It’s a collage of love stories that intersect and overlap at many different points and also has a few unexpected surprises. It was much less predictable than “He’s Just Not that Into You,” which is what I expected.

Ashton Kutcher played a cute role in the movie. Anne Hathaway’s got skills when it comes to accents, Jessica Alba played an unusual role, Bradley Cooper did that as well and everyone else was just as fun in their own roles. Taylor Swift got a part in this movie, which to me seemed to fit her very well.

The teen stories were something that I felt like most teens go through in their relationships.   Some of the stores you definitely wouldn’t predict, but that’s what makes the movie so interesting.

A story between the older couple in the movie really stuck out to me because I wasn’t ready for their situation to happen.

The only downfall to this movie in my opinion had to be how it was kind of scattered going from one character in the movie to another one, but it was great how their situations somehow all tied together. Nevertheless, it’s a fun movie with no date required.

Senior theatre and dance majors Laura Vandiver, Alex Paolino-Gibson, Marten Dollinger and Allison Wadleigh showcased their productions this past weekend in a combined presentation titled “IS^4.” The four performances were split between different nights, with Vandiver and Paolino-Gibson shows running on Thursday and Friday, while Dollinger and Wadleigh’s shows were showcased on Saturday and Sunday.

I noticed an interesting pairing between the four shows. Vandiver and Paolino-Gibson’s productions focused on controverisal issues such as body image and abortion, while Dollinger and Wadleigh’s performances were engineered with digital media. Each performance was unique because it became apparent that the audience would enter into a new world with its own rules and goals.

Vandiver’s piece, “A Good Face,” was derived from Neil Labute’s beauty plays series with three sections from “The Shape of Things,” “Fat Pig” and “Reasons to Be Pretty.” Each exposed the difficulties and issues surrounding society today about how beauty is perceived. Vandiver did an exceptional job of transforming into a different complex character for each scene.

Though each character exhibited different qualities of movement, stance and tone, all of the characters placed various values on beauty, but came to the same conclusion that looks were a huge factor in their lives. Vandiver’s performance made me stop and think about how society and the media ask for unnecessary attention and promotion of a beauty standard.

Paolino-Gibson’s original piece, “wait/ing,” did not pose a question to the audience about abortion; it asked them to talk. Through a series of monologues and dialogue, Paolino-Gibson beautifully weaved together a whole picture around the subject of abortion. Ryan Shafranek ’13 introduced each scene by giving a context to the setting, allowing actors Kate Donnelly ’13 and Maria Cox ’12 to present multi-dimentional characters.

The stories were either fictional and true, but all were personal and less concerned about the plot — giving the characters a chance to tell their story with complete honesty. Paolino-Gibson incorporated some elements of Native American performance in between the scenes, to indicate the start of  a new story.

As Shafranek pounded the floor to create a rhythm and beat similar to a drum, Donnelly and Cox chanted words that described the theme of the piece. The blended tones of a drum and strong words alluded to the sound of a heart beat.

To remind the audience politely about their main goal, each actor wrote on one side of the space in chalk, “TALK.” I acknowledge that abortion can be a polarizing issue, but “wait/ing” reminded me that we actually need to talk about this issue. Paolino-Gibson was not asking his audience to change their view on abortion. He wanted us to start meaningful conversations on this issue and listen to everyone’s story.

While Vandiver and Paolino-Gibson’s work used direct means of shedding light on controversial issues, Dollinger and Wadleigh’s productions separately employed digital media to introduce alternative realities.

“Editors,” a film by Dollinger, chronicles the weekly struggles of college students running the student newspaper, “The Wooster Sound.” Using a format similar to the TV show, “The Office,” the film was composed of two episodes centered around editor-in-chief Clark, played by Jonah Comstock ’10, and his co-workers, all trying to please, insult, or simply tolerate him. There was a great level of authenticity in the film; you felt as if you were looking through the eyes of someone working in the newsroom. I appreciate how Comstock and rest of cast displayed a great level of commitment and concentration to their parts and the story. It made the film all the more enjoyable.

Wadleigh’s use of technology in her original performance “Facebook Me,” transported the audience into the world of the social networking site Facebook. With a computer screen displaying the site, Robin Reese (played by Carrie Muller ’12) becomes so consumed by talking and spying on her friends on Facebook, that she magically finds herself  placed inside the site, hopelessly lost, but determined to find her way out.

She meets some of her friends, people she doesn’t even know and annoying games and applications. It was quite comical how Wadleigh added all these important elements of the site, and each affected the relationships and conversations conducted in the “online” space.

The constant communication and socialization was overwhelming Muller’s character. Facebook is a great tool for communication, but we may need to step back and think about how it is affecting us socially. It’s hard to determine that at the moment, but this performance has prompted me to think about why we use sites such as Facebook. Overall, I was very moved and inspired by these performances.

Wooster Voice editors Jonah Comstock and Marten Dollinger did not contribute any reporting to this story.

The point I’m trying to make here is that if you want to be an actor, now is the time to try it.  I know from experience that the theatre department here can seem pretty insular, but this year alone we’ve seen a huge outpouring of talent that I had never encountered before.  Almost the entire cast of Effie’s production this year, “The Fantasticks” were students whom I had never seen in a production at Wooster, and it was an excellent.

It’s not just acting, either.  Pretty much every area of the arts has groups with varying levels of professionalism and expected commitment. For example, Wooster has five a capella groups—two male, two female, and one co-ed.  Do you know how ridiculous that is for a school this size? These groups audition new members every year, and most of the people who sing in them aren’t music majors.  Last year, A Round of Monkeys had one music major out of 18 members, and she didn’t even lead rehearsals.

If dance is your thing, there are two official dance concerts produced each year by the Wooster Dance Company (part of the theatre and dance department).  Students do most of the choreography, and, believe it or not, most of them aren’t dance majors.  Which is just as well because there are only two dance majors at the school right now — they’d have to work pretty hard to put all those pieces together single-handedly. If modern dance isn’t what you’re into, the Let’s Dance Society is always open to people looking to work on their social dance skills — they do swing as well as a variety of ballroom kind of styles.

We also have a student literary magazine, The Goliard, which accepts submissions of art, music, poetry and prose from everyone; not just art majors, music majors and english majors.  They also host writing workshops where you can  have your work critiqued.

Most of these groups and productions have relatively low time commitments.  A capella groups typically rehearse two nights a week for an hour and a half a week.  Plays are more intense, but they usually only rehearse for four to six weeks.  The student groups are often willing to work around people’s schedules.  And if you’re really pressed for time, the 24-hour Play Festival only takes, well, you get the idea.

Despite all these opportunities, plenty of Wooster students still have artistic areas they want to pursue, but they never try.  They tell themselves they’re not good enough, and they defeat themselves before they even start. Wooster is the perfect place for exploring these different areas.  If there’s something you think you might want to try, get out there and try it.  The worst that can happen is you don’t succeed.  But the chance to be on stage, or to have your work seen and admired by the campus, is worth the risk. You might discover a side of yourself that you never knew you had.

Nathan Comstock is a Senior Arts Writer for the Voice. He may be reached for further comments and questions at NComstock10@wooster.edu

“I’d describe it as progressive rock,” said Ginny Kincaid ’10, who plays guitar and sings, “But it’s not, really.  I mean, we aim for like, high energy rock, but some of our songs are really complicated musically.  We have a lot of music theory going on, ‘cause we have a lot of really musical people.”

Aside from Kincaid, the band is composed of Nick Terelle ’10, also on guitar and vocals, Cord Briggs ’10 on bass, keyboardist David Yontz ’10 and drummer Allison Wadleigh ’10.  Kincaid and Terelle formed the group after the breakup of their previous band, Coffee.  The name, which took them several weeks to come up with, is meant to evoke the classic bomb-disarming scene of an action movie.

“You know, like, you don’t cut the red wire,” said Kincaid.

After their first gig at an underground Oktoberfest concert, Red Wire took first place at the Battle of the Bands in the U.G. — their second performance as a group.  Since then, the band has gone on to perform in a wide variety of venues, including being one of the opening acts at Party on the Green.

Red Wire performs almost exclusively original songs, except when playing at covers.  Wadleigh says that the songwriting is usually a group effort.

“Usually Nick or David or sometimes Ginny will come up with a basic melody and structure, and then the keyboard and the drums and the bass will just sort of fill in.”

“It’s kind of a variety,” adds Kincaid. “Sometimes Cord or David will come with like a chord progression that he likes, and then we’ll try to turn it into a song, or sometimes Nick will come in with an almost completed song. And as far as lyrics and melody go, I‘ve worked on that by myself, and David and Nick have, but we’ve also all sat down and worked on them together.”

The songs range in genre from “a two-minute screamo piece to weird experimental rock” according to Kincaid.  Terelle, a music composition major, often writes songs with more unusual structures.

“Some of our songs which have odd rhythmic tension, rather than like odd harmonic and melodic tension,” he says. “People are so used to hearing regular beat patterns, that when you have a pattern that’s rhythmically jarring, it makes people feel uneasy.  I think it adds a little substance to our songs too, a little complexity.”

Though the band is not planning to stay together after graduation, they do intend to record an album after I.S. is over.  They hope to make it available before the end of the school year.  Terelle hopes to make them available free of charge.

“I feel like it’s a gift of involvement these people have given us,” he says, “And for that they deserve a gift of a recording.”

Regardless of the eventual results, however, Kincaid feels she has accomplished her goal with this group.

“We do this because we like to rock,” she says, then turning to her drummer. “We’re rock stars now, right girl?”

There are four students producing pieces for IS^4 – Senior Independent Study Productions: Alex Paolino-Gibson, Laura Vandiver, Marten Dollinger and Allison Wadleigh. There is no universal theme between all of the pieces, but Dollinger notes that Vandiver and Paolino-Gibson’s work provides commentary on controversial issues, while his and Wadleigh’s performances utilize more digital media. The performances will be showcased on separate dates by presenting Vandiver and Paolino-Gibon’s piece this past Thursday and tonight, while Wadleigh and Dollinger’s pieces are showing on Saturday and Sunday.  “The performances were sort of divided on the line of how serious the subject matter is in each piece,” said Dollinger. Theatre-goers can catch these shows at the Shoolroy Theatre at 8:15 p.m. tonight and Saturday, and at 3:00 p.m. on Sunday.

Dollinger’s production requires no action on the stage. It’s all on the screen. His performance is a film titled “Editors,” a mockumentary film about running a student newspaper presented in two 10 minute episodes. Audiences will relate the format and style of the film to that of “The Office” and “Parks and Recreation.” Dollinger, an Arts & Entertainment editor for The Wooster Voice, is using his experiences of working for the Voice to create an atmosphere of authenticity. He also stated that “the combination of writing, directing and editing has been a very taxing but worthwhile endeavor.”

In contrast, Paolino-Gibson’s piece will be a staged reading of his play “Wait/ing,” which explores the issues of abortion and adoption and how they relate to everyone, not just women. The audience will be presented with four snapshot situations which will “beg the audience to challenge their opinions,” according to Paolino-Gibson. After the stage reading, Paolino-Gibson will be looking into producing the play in workshops. The playwright would like to advise that this performance is intended for a mature audience.

Vandiver’s piece, “A Good Face,” consists of two scenes and a monologue from Neil LaBute’s plays “The Shape of Things,” “Fat Pig” and “Reasons to Be Pretty.” All of the scenes examine how Labute utilizes beauty and body images in his writing. Furthermore, the three pieces will present different and unique viewpoints on beauty. “LaBute has a very singular style and rhythm which is unlike anything I’ve ever done before. His plays are gritty and vulgar and offensive,” says Vandiver.

Through questioning the effects of people interacting online, Wadleigh’s original play, “Facebook Me,” will explore how character performs identity in a virtual space. Essentially, the piece creates “the social performative acts of Facebook, such as editing, commenting, posting and liking, in a space which is meant for performance,” according to Wadleigh. She comments that some people feel this pressure to stay “in the loop” of our friends’ activities, but because people are increasingly using technology, there is less day-to-day interaction in everyday situations. “Facebook is just another stage,” says Wadleigh.

For tickets, call the COW Box Office at 330-263-2241. Reserve tickets soon, as seating is limited. Inquiries should be directed to Patrice Smith.

Marten Dollinger, Arts & Entertainment editor, did not contribute any reporting to this story.

Any adaptation should be evaluated on its own terms. Depending on the artistic intentions of a given adaptation, being “true to the original” may very well be a legitimate factor for evaluation, but it should remain a single factor to be considered among many. Take last year’s anticipated adaptation “Watchmen.” With one noticeable exception and a few subtle ones, the overall plot and action of the movie rarely deviates from the original.

However, many elements of the graphic novel were naturally impossible to address in the movie, simply because every medium has capabilities that cannot be duplicated in another medium. Saying the graphic novel was “better” than the movie is to overlook these inherent differences in form.

Let’s examine the Harry Potter franchise as another example. Here, the artistic intention is important, as it is very much a “Hey, I liked this book, I bet some of this stuff would look REALLY COOL if we had a budget for CGI” sort of situation. Complete adherence to the original seems to come secondary to what fits a formulaic cinematic plot-line and to what looks cool.

This is not necessarily a bad thing; the movies so far seem to stand pretty well on their own without one trying to compare them to the books, although sometimes titles seem to lose their relevance. Take the latest movie, “Half-Blood Prince” — the role the half-blood prince even plays in the movie is kind of irrelevant to the rest of the plot and the twist that Snape was, in fact, the half-blood prince was practically a throw-away line. Even taking away an evaluation against the original, it sort of begs the question, why call it that if it’s such a small part of the plot?

One adaptation I look forward to seeing is the American version of the movie “Death at a Funeral.” Many people have problems with essentially re-doing the same movie, and have lambasted remakes like “The Day the Earth Stood Still,” “Planet of the Apes” and “War of the Worlds,” and questioned the point of remaking a good movie, calling it selfish and money-driven. I think it’s more comparable to reviving classic pieces of theater. No one criticizes a director for putting on a production of “Death of a Salesman” just because it’s already been done, why not allow screenplays the same opportunity for re-interpretation and considerations that we offer theater scripts?

When you get right down to it, the main reason people are likely to prefer the original work to a remake is that people fall in love with their own vision of a story. We search for consistency, and we’re likely to dislike something that seems to mess with our initial interpretation, but no one really wants to see a remake that’s exactly the same as the original. Learn to see a new vision of a story, and let a movie adaptation stand on its own merit.

Marten is an Arts & Entertainment editor for the Voice. He can be reached for comment at mdollinger10@   wooster.edu

Although her dancing career may have formally begun at Wooster, Knights has been singing for far longer in her life.  “I did my first solo when I was five, in kindergarten,” she said. “Dancing I started in church—we had a lyrical dance team—when I was 12.”

Knights, who hails from Stone Mountain, Ga., attended Dekalb School of the Arts, an arts magnet school, in eighth and ninth grade.  Although she mostly studied voice there, she took some dance classes and met a lot of talented dancers, which led to her taking a more active role in her church dance group.

“I thought it was easy for everybody,” she said of her first experience choreographing. “I would just make something up, and then I’d realize that not everyone could do it, so I thought I must have some kind of knack for it.”

After ninth grade she transferred to Redan High School, a public school with much smaller music and dance programs.

“Redan was just a public school, with no focus on the arts, so I went from being in a place full of people like me to a big fish, small pond kind of situation. So that kind of put me in a leadership role.”

Her senior year, Knights wrote, directed and choreographed an original musical entitled “New Chains,” in commemoration of Black History Month.

“They wanted me to do a show for black history, but I didn’t want to do the classic ‘slavery’ thing, so I called it ‘New Chains’ and made it about HIV and AIDS as a new form of oppression.  The next year a girl who was in my production did some research and came up with another one and also called it ‘New Chains,’ then they’re doing another one this year.  So it’s sort of my legacy, I guess.”

Knights and Nana Boamah-Acheampong ’11 attempted to form a band last year, but eventually put it off when they had trouble finding members with enough time.  This year, Darius Dixon ’13 arrived on campus, and the band finally got underway.

“Darius is really good at organizing things and getting people together,” said Knights.  “So we were finally able to do that this year.”

The band, then under the name “Ms. Knights and the Gentlemen,” had their first gig as one of the opening bands for Black Violin at Party on the Green.  Matt Roberts ’11,

Micah Motenko ’13, Chris Andrews ’10, and Jacqueline Narnor ’12 rounded out the roster.

“Party on the Green was really crazy; we just kinda threw it together, because we were all so busy that week. But we liked the chemistry of the group so much that we stuck with it for Battle of the Bands, and we ended up doing really well there, so now we’re getting ready for Hype for Haiti this Friday.”

Although singing and dancing are big parts of her life, Knights, an English major, is most interested in her creative writing pursuits.  She has written poetry and prose, but is particularly interested in studying screenwriting.  Whatever she ends up doing though, the leadership skills acquired in her artistic pursuits should serve her exceedingly well.

Some people just can’t help making an impact anywhere they go.  And Brandelle Knights ’12 has made a huge splash in her first year and a half at Wooster.  After succeeding last year as a dancer and a choreographer, Knights diversified her talents last semester, joining the cheerleading squad and fronting a successful new band, now called “Freddie Cool and the Rest of Them.”

Although her dancing career may have formally begun at Wooster, Knights has been singing for far longer in her life.  “I did my first solo when I was five, in kindergarten,” she said. “Dancing I started in church—we had a lyrical dance team—when I was 12.”

Knights, who hails from Stone Mountain, Ga., attended Dekalb School of the Arts, an arts magnet school, in eighth and ninth grade.  Although she mostly studied voice there, she took some dance classes and met a lot of talented dancers, which led to her taking a more active role in her church dance group.

“I thought it was easy for everybody,” she said of her first experience choreographing. “I would just make something up, and then I’d realize that not everyone could do it, so I thought I must have some kind of knack for it.”

After ninth grade she transferred to Redan High School, a public school with much smaller music and dance programs.

“Redan was just a public school, with no focus on the arts, so I went from being in a place full of people like me to a big fish, small pond kind of situation. So that kind of put me in a leadership role.”

Her senior year, Knights wrote, directed and choreographed an original musical entitled “New Chains,” in commemoration of Black History Month.

“They wanted me to do a show for black history, but I didn’t want to do the classic ‘slavery’ thing, so I called it ‘New Chains’ and made it about HIV and AIDS as a new form of oppression.  The next year a girl who was in my production did some research and came up with another one and also called it ‘New Chains,’ then they’re doing another one this year.  So it’s sort of my legacy, I guess.”

Knights and Nana Boamah-Acheampong ’11 attempted to form a band last year, but eventually put it off when they had trouble finding members with enough time.  This year, Darius Dixon ’13 arrived on campus, and the band finally got underway.

“Darius is really good at organizing things and getting people together,” said Knights.  “So we were finally able to do that this year.”

The band, then under the name “Ms. Knights and the Gentlemen,” had their first gig as one of the opening bands for Black Violin at Party on the Green.  Matt Roberts ’11,

Micah Motenko ’13, Chris Andrews ’10, and Jacqueline Narnor ’12 rounded out the roster.

“Party on the Green was really crazy; we just kinda threw it together, because we were all so busy that week. But we liked the chemistry of the group so much that we stuck with it for Battle of the Bands, and we ended up doing really well there, so now we’re getting ready for Hype for Haiti this Friday.”

Although singing and dancing are big parts of her life, Knights, an English major, is most interested in her creative writing pursuits.  She has written poetry and prose, but is particularly interested in studying screenwriting.  Whatever she ends up doing though, the leadership skills acquired in her artistic pursuits should serve her exceedingly well.

For starters, the average age of the crowd was 80 — they were literally bringing them in by the busload. It felt a little odd for there to be so many senior citizens at a show that was all about sex appeal, murder and lies, and the wardrobe consisted entirely of fishnets, leather and black lingerie. But I soon put that thought behind me and began to enjoy the show — or at least tried. After arriving late, the little old lady sitting next to me whipped out her cell phone shortly after the start of the first act. I was blinded by the light as she slowly attempted to text someone, but eventually she put the phone away and proceeded to hog the arm rest — elbowing me in the ribs in the process. But that wasn’t the end of the torment. At one point she fell asleep hitting my shoulder with her head and staying there for a scene or two.

Throughout the musical I experienced several other unpleasant moments with the surrounding elderly patrons. A “gentleman” in the row behind me was a little gassy and laughed like a four-year-old every time he let one rip, the woman with him also found it hilarious and necessary to chant “I know what you did!” over and over again during the intermission. My favorite rude moment of the musical was when this same woman insisted on going to the bathroom with five minutes left in the show— and the repeated explanations to the group with her. When she was done explaining where she was going and why — “I just can’t hold it any more!” — she stood and hit me in the back of the head with her purse, not even bothering to apologize. Maybe she should have gone to the bathroom during the intermission instead of sticking around to poke fun of her buddy that kept farting throughout the first half of the show. Forget about the rudeness of “those gosh darn kids” these days, how about the inconsiderate actions of the elderly? I don’t think one is entitled to a certain behavior because of their age, and these people were certainly old enough to know better.

I didn’t think it was too much to ask for a little peace and quiet while seeing a live performance. This is not a movie theater, and I won’t be able to buy this performance on DVD five months from now. Chances are, I’ll never see this musical again so I want to be able to give the performers my full attention, something that’s a little difficult considering the surroundings.

I usually enjoy getting dressed up and driving up to Cleveland to see a show, but if I have to sit through another Sunday matinee with Sir Farts-A-Lot and his wife Mrs. Can’t-Hold-it-for-Five-Minutes behind me and Mrs Sleepy McArmresthog next to me I will go insane. Half the experience of seeing a live performance is the atmosphere of a theatre itself. An atmosphere that is completely destroyed by rude people. So please remember, arrive well rested, keep your elbows to yourself, put your cell phones away — it’s only for an hour and half — go to the restroom at intermission if needed and please keep your immature fart jokes to yourself, it’ll make the experience more enjoyable for everyone around you.